Points of Authority
by plumsblossom
Summary: A semi-song fic with Linkin Park's 'Points of Authroity'. Spike has to be cruel to be kind. Some bad language and innuendos, but it's pretty PG other than that.


Points of Authority - Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory Takes place in between the episodes of "Wrecked" and "Gone", S6  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy hurried home a couple hours before dawn. She entered her house, everything was silent, everyone was asleep. She was glad she wasn't going to have to make up a story about some violent demon she had been chasing down all night.  
  
She started up the stairs. No, not chasing a violent demon. Having sex with one. She went into her room and closed the door silently. Not that he was really violent. Towards other people. The chip assured that. No, he was just violent towards her.  
  
She started to undress. But not in a bad way. Was she insane? Probably. How could she ever tell anyone that she liked that violence? The way things went when she was with him? She needed it. Desperately.  
  
She kicked her clothes to the corner of the room and looked into the mirror. He had left marks again. Bruises on her upper arms. Small puncture wounds on her thigh. Scratches on her stomach. She sighed. It had been a while since she could wear a tank top.  
  
She yawned as she slipped a shirt over her head. She would shower in the morning, she was too exhausted. She slipped under the sheets. She could never admit it to anyone, not even him, though he probably knew without her admission.  
  
She liked the way Spike treated her. It made her feel alive.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike was in the blurry realm between sleep and wake. Images of the Slayer floated through his head. His bed still smelled like her, that golden bombshell that came to him every night. He turned over onto his back.  
  
He was sore. She had left marks. Again. The red scratches down his back stung when he moved. No worry. Tomorrow he wouldn't even be able to feel them. At least his vampire healing assured that. He smiled. She was one helluva woman.  
  
All teeth and nails. Well, teeth, nails, hair, legs, small waist, perfect breasts. He shook his head. What was he thinking? He had to get her out of his head. She was consuming him every minute. Who was he fooling? He liked being consumed. He loved it. He thrived on it.  
  
He could happily think of nothing but her for the next 12 hours. Maybe she would come to him sooner. Bloody hell how long had he waited for her? For her to give in, come to him? It seemed like forever.  
  
He had thought that night in the abandoned house it couldn't get any better. But he was wrong. Every night was a little better. No, a lot better. It had been almost two weeks since then. And she had finally stopped denying that she wanted him.  
  
Something pulled on Spike's heartstrings. He knew what it was. But he didn't want to think about it. He wished he was stronger, that he didn't have to live in this world of denial where he pretended what she gave was enough for him.  
  
Oh it was all fine and dandy laying here fooling himself into believing she came there to be with him. William. Of course it was a lie. She didn't come here for William. She came here for Spike. The vampire with incredibly good looks and charm.  
  
He was being used. And to say he completely liked it was a fucking lie. Granted he would rather have her using him then never have her at all, but wouldn't it be grand if she actually loved him? He felt like punching himself.  
  
Love. What a bleedin' pain in the arse. No matter how much he loved her she was still the Slayer. Keeper of the Innocent, Champion for Good and all that poppycock. And that meant she could never be his. Or could she?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Spike?" Buffy called out as she stepped climbed down the ladder into his crypt. "Are you here?"  
  
Spike poked his head around the corner. "Right here love."  
  
Buffy came to him and kissed him. She had been thinking of this moment all day.  
  
Spike kissed her back. She never liked to talk. Somehow it reminded her of the horrible things she was doing. He always complied. But not tonight. He pulled her away from him.  
  
She gave him a questioning look as she went to put her arms around his neck. "Are we playing hard to get tonight?" She purred.  
  
Spike unlatched her arms and turned his back on her.  
  
Her brows furrowed. "Spike?" She took a step towards him.  
  
He took a few deep breaths. "Buffy. This isn't going to work. I can't keep doing this."  
  
Buffy's eyes widened. No way was this happening. Spike was denying her? "What?"  
  
Spike turned around. "Lord knows that I love you. But you don't love me. I'm just some sort of drug you take. And that's all you do. Take, and take. Then you drop me. It's a little tiring Buffy."  
  
Buffy was incredulous. He was giving her a lecture? "I can't believe you. You know what I've been risking coming here? I thought we had an understanding Spike. You knew when this started where my loyalties laid. Now think about this. Why can't we just do what we do and everything can go back to being how it used to be." She smiled at him seductively as she reached out for him.  
  
Spike let her take him into her arms. He had a surprise for her. "One second love, turn on the radio. Press play."  
  
Buffy gave him a questioning look but did as she was told. At once quiet music starting floating through the crypt. She turned to look at Spike.  
  
Spike shook his head and started to sing a long with the music. "'Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you out of the frame, puts your name to shame. Cover up your face, you can't run the race. The pace is too fast you just won't last.'"  
  
Buffy stared at him. What was he saying? She walked towards him and tried to guide him towards the bed. Spike seemed to forget the song as he followed. But he hadn't.  
  
"'You love the way, I look at you. While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through. You take away, if I give in. My life, my pride is broken.'"  
  
Buffy pushed away from him. "Cut it out Spike. It isn't funny. Stop."  
  
Spike knew he was getting to her. "'You like to think you're never wrong. You have to act like you're someone. You want someone to hurt like you. You want to share what you've been through.'"  
  
Buffy heard the words. She knew what he was referring to. "Goddamit Spike! I died. How can you even say those things? I don't want anyone to...to hurt."  
  
Spike ignored her words. "'You love the things, I day I'll do. The way I'll hurt myself again just to get back at you. You take away when I give in. My life, my pride is broken.'"  
  
She lashed out and kicked him in the face. "Stop. Stop it right now." She punched him. Those words. She wouldn't admit how close they hit home.  
  
Spike wiped blood from his lip. No way he would stop now. He was getting somewhere. "'You like to think you're never wrong. You have to act like you're someone. You want someone to hurt like you. You want to share what you've been through.'"  
  
Another round kick. "You fucking ass! I hate you!" Every emotion was coming out. All the pain, all the suffering. He was making her feel things she didn't want to feel.  
  
"Do you want me Buffy? Admit it Buffy. Admit that you love me!" Spike pleaded as he sunk to his knees from another blow. "'Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you out of the frame, puts your name to shame. Cover up your face, you can't run the race. The pace is too fast you just won't last.'"  
  
Tears were streaming down Buffy's face.  
  
"Admit it Buffy. If you don't you'll burn out. It'll become too much for you Buffy. Admit it or leave. Can you handle that Buffy?"  
  
Buffy was sobbing as she sank to her knees. The music continued in the background.  
  
'You like to think you're never wrong. You have to act like you're someone. You want someone to hurt like you. You want to share what you've been through.'  
  
"I'm so sorry Spike," she bawled. Spike quickly had her in his arms.  
  
"It's ok love, it's ok." He had hurt her. He felt horrible as he watched the tears fall down her perfect face.  
  
"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry Spike."  
  
Spike rocked her gently back and forth. "I'm sorry too love. But I have to know. What's your choice?"  
  
Buffy looked up into his eyes and kissed him gently, softly, like she had never kissed him before. "I love you Spike, I'm sorry." She mouthed the last words of the song as the music floated into silence, "You live what you learn..." 


End file.
